All about shit and the men who love it
All about shit and the men who love it.

Cover
The Rimchair Issue

How To
Some assembly required.

Height Matters
Measuring the Drop Zone

What's a rimchair?
The Oxford English Rim Seat

Fleece linings
Beautiful Homes and Rim Seats

News and Weather
Florida Rim Seat warning

The Movie
Get serious. This is how to use one.

What do you know?


Where To Buy
Check the links...

Discussion
Maybe more recent stuff...

All the King's Horses

Easy
Hard
Something mindless to pass the time, if you haven't anyone under you to pass wind at.
 
Detail bottom assembly
 
Almost done (add seat and pig)
 
Ready, set, GO!
 

The Really (Really) Simple to Build Rim Chair

by Omega Pig

My location is San Diego, California. Cum play nasty with me sometime.

Perv Drek Sau: German for "Perverted Dirt Pig". I have a very handsome and nasty boy in Germany. This is what he calls me! I love it as much as Daddy!

And that’s just what you’ll be hearing a lot of if you build the easy to assemble rim chair I’m about to describe in article.

If you are into butt-munching, or having your butt munched (and who isn’t) then you’ll want to head right out to your local hardware store and do some shopping. Well you might be saying you aren’t into rimming! (Not in this crowd)

Consider this. A well-built rim chair can serve a few ‘other’ useful functions as well:

  • It’s fun to lay under a hot man seated in your chair and suck his cock.

  • Adds a new aspect to water sports too. I’ve had shy pissers who can’t seem to get started while standing up sit in the chair, and after relaxing for a little while they let go with a beautiful golden stream. The chair is ‘familiar’ and feels very much like the toilet seat. Shy pissers are more comfortable with that.

  • Lay under the seat with a hard dick and let your bottom ride up and down on your cock... ummmm, I say from from experience, this feels really good. I can cum buckets like that.

  • Fisters take note, a bottom can ride your arm just as easily as he rides your cock! Grease that hand and arm up; plant your elbow on the floor with your arm sticking up through the seat, and let your bottom piggie ride all he wants.
  • For guys into butt munching, the advantages of having a rim seat are obvious.
And last but not least... If you flag a brown hankie the rim seat is a natural. We’re all scat pigs here so I don’t think I need to elaborate further on that subject!

Let’s go shopping

The materials for this project have been picked for three main things, easy assembly, easy clean-up, and low cost. Starting with the easy assembly part consider this, any lunk-head who can screw two pipes together can build this project. Cleans up quick with soap and water. All the parts are inexpensive ‘off the shelf’ items carried by any decent hardware store.

I assume that every self-respecting male on the planet has a toolbox! I also assume that toolbox to be stuffed with every imaginable gadget and tool known to man (mine is), but for those of you who may have been sleeping when the good fairy passed out the tool-boxes here’s what you’ll need to have on hand.

  1. A pipe wrench…. You can probably borrow one from the dyke across the hall.

  2. An adjustable wrench also called a monkey or crescent wrench for God only knows what reason.

  3. A drill and assorted drill bits.

  4. A screwdriver.

  5. A sharp knife, scissors, or hacksaw for trimming and cutting pipe insulation.

  6. A pencil or pen.

Here’s a list of parts to pick up at the hardware store.

First, try to pick up the hunky floor clerk who is helping you find all this stuff and is barraging you with questions about your project such as “what are you building?”. If your answer doesn’t scare the crap out of him (these guys have been around) then you may proceed to invite him over to help with the assembly and testing. Throw in a romantic candlelight dinner after testing just for fun.

NOTE: Metal pipes and fittings are all ½ inch size with NPT pipe threads on both ends.
  • 2 x 90 degree elbows
  • 4 x T-connectors
  • 2 x Side outlet elbows
  • 4 x floor flanges (used for the feet)
  • 4 x pipe unions
  • 4 x 6 inch nipple ends (a nipple end is a short connector pipe threaded on both ends)
  • 8 x 5 inch nipple ends
  • 4 x 18 inch pipes
  • 1 x 24 inch pipe
  • 4 x large metal rings about 1½ inches in diameter. They’ll look a lot like metal cock rings.
  • 4 x metal straps with screws.
  • 4 x hobby horse springs.
  • 1 x length of foam pipe insulation.
  • A solid plastic toilet seat. Those soft padded models work well here and that is the type I used. Avoid real wood and pressed wood types, as they may split when you try to sit in them.

Side elbow
Pipe Union
Floor flange
T connector
90' elbow

Let's Build

Grab that toilet seat, separate the lid from the ring and turn its bottom side upwards. Lay out your 4 metal straps; mark the screw holes with your pencil. Leave the outer holes free. Remove the straps and drill into the seat at the marks. Don’t drill through, just drill deep enough for the screws to fit nicely. Now screw those bad boys in nice and tight.
Now its time to start screwing… pipes together! Get your mind out of the gutter, pig!

Step #1

Grab all of your floor flanges, unions, 5 inch nipple ends, and assorted wrenches.

Thread the four floor flanges onto one end of four of the 5 inch nipples and tighten with your wrenches. Lay these aside.

Thread the four unions onto one end of the remaining four 5 inch nipples, tighten, and lay these aside.

Make sure the unions are all facing the same direction. Whew… we did it! That wasn’t so hard.

Step#2

Lower assembly. You’ll need all eight of those pieces you made in step one, plus the four T-connectors, AND two 18 inch pipes.

When we’re done you’ll have two identical assemblies shaped like the capital letter “H” with the 18 inch pipes connecting the two upright sides.

First, assemble four identical pieces as follows:

Into the ends of the “T” connectors screw one nipple with floor flange to one end, one nipple with union into the other end.

You now have an assembly in this order, floor flange, nipple, t-connector, nipple, and union.

Got that?

Make three more just like that one!

Now, see those holes left in each of the t-connectors? Screw the 18 inch pipes into them.

Now wrench everything together good and tight. When you’re done the floor flanges will be at the bottom of the “H”, the unions at the top.

Hey, you’re looking really good. Anyone want be a plumber full time?

Step #3

Upper assembly. Take the unions from step #2 apart, noting carefully how they’ll go back together.

You’ll need the freed ends for this next step.

Tighten the freed ends of the unions to the four 6 inch nipples.

On two of the 6 inch nipples thread on a 90 degree elbow.

Now, look very closely at the picture of the side outlet elbow.

You see two holes facing you and one hole facing up. Thread the hole ‘facing up’ onto the other two 6 inch nipples.

Thread the 24 inch pipe between the two side outlet elbow assemblies you just finished.

Orient the two holes in the ends the same direction.

Thread the two remaining 18 inch pipes into the remaining two holes in both side outlet elbows.

Slip two metal rings over each of the 18 inch pipes, then thread both pipes with the open ends of the 90 degree elbows that you assembled in the first part of this step.

If you did this correctly the four union halves in the upper assembly will line up with the four union halves on the lower “H” assembly. They line up… GREAT, almost done!

Step #4

Line up the four unions and re-assemble them tightly.

You should have a complete framework, ready for the finishing touches.

You may have to tweak pipes here and there to get everything to line up and be square.

Make sure all four floor flanges (the feet) are on the floor squarely. No wobbles allowed.

Cut the foam pipe insulation to fit the two 18 inch pipes and the one 24 inch pipe.

Slide the metal rings as far apart as they will go and install the foam insulation on the 18 inch pipes.

Install the last piece of foam insulation on the 24 inch pipe.

Wrap the foam with duct tape, or another suitable tape. This keeps the foam in place and since this foam isn’t intended for a lot of abuse the tape will keep it clean, protected, and together.

Now slip the metal rings over the foam insulation, attach a hobbyhorse spring to each ring and then attach the other end of the springs to the metal plates on the seat.

Voila! You are done! Ride that baby into the sunset, pardner!



A printable (PDF) version of these instructions is available in our file sharing area The Dumps